Not too bad

No news for a couple of days -- my crunch days at work. Then she called yesterday afternoon -- actually her friend D called, and put Mom on the line. So I wondered, can she no longer use the phone?

When she got on, her voice was thick -- sounded like she'd been drinking, though she hadn't. She said she wanted to be able to call me, and I said she had me. She complained about not knowing how to use the phone, and I told her she'd done fine with D, or ask one of the staff people, they'll help you.

Then the reason for her call, apparently: "We need to talk about where I'm going to be. I'm not staying here forever!"

That same old thing. I was frustrated enough that when I got home, I called a couple sisters. Siri said she called her almost every night, and Mom had said she wanted to move there. Kari pointed out that, except for college and a year after college, she'd only ever lived in a family at home, "with blood relatives." And that Mom had said she was OK, but what she wanted was to be with one of her children.

I wish very often she'd had career, knew the demands of work, had developed outside interests.

I went to visit her tonight feeling quite beaten down. I was, kind of, in crisis, thinking I have to cut back. But when I got there we had a nice evening. Interesting conversation with J, probably the smartest woman there, with intermittent bellowings from A, whose husband, she will not let you forget, was a OB Gyn, and who was killed in his 50s by a falling tree -- in the backyard, a professional had come to cut it down, and it fell the wrong way.

We went to Mom's room and chatted, read emails, and even watched a little TV, then visited her friends D and C, who were having computer trouble, and then back to Mom's. For so late in the day, she was remarkably with it. I think talking to Kari, earlier, and Siri, too, maybe that day, but at least yesterday, was part of it. Her children pouring attention at her is like a beneficial drug. I stayed till she was so tired she was going to lay down. It's the easiest way to leave.