"Hi Jon!"

Singalong

Had a good visit with Mom last night. She actually sang the songs in Singalong, and had no trouble finding the right pages or going back to the chorus after the verse. She looked good, too -- her color healthy, her expression not contorted like it sometimes is.

That blue thing around her shoulders in the picture is actually a weight, filled with sand or something. It's got a little heft to it, and it's a reminder to stay in her seat. They have a lot of trouble with her trying to stand and walk, which inevitably ends in a fall. I'd like to think this is her spirited nature -- you can't keep a good woman down! -- but in actual fact I think it's just forgetfulness.

Sometimes when I arrive during Singalong, she gives me a curt glance, as if irritated by my greeting -- an unwelcome distraction. Sometimes she says, "Oh, Jon," like I've been gone for years. When I arrive, Mary, the Singalong leader, always says, "Look! Jon's here! Look Mary, Jon's here! Hi Jon!" And everybody says hi.

I would prefer a less heralded entry.

Sometimes Mom is happy, and I wonder about this just as much as I wonder about her less happy days. It's not all related to her health or loneliness or the place she lives. It's a separate factor inside her that sometimes connects to those things, but sometimes moves independently. Visiting on a happy day pays you back. On the less happy days, well, it's more like a job.