Mail call

Mom's favorite game

On my visit yesterday we went through her mail. It's a ritual she likes, even if it's all just junk. "This is from President Obama," I'll say. "He wants your money. Can I throw it out?" Getting mail makes her feel connected. The president and Michelle actually sent her his state of the union address, of which I read her selected portions. "That's right, isn't it," she said, of one ringing phrase. Still, I threw it out.

So I went to take her to church today and found her in bed, sound asleep, in her church clothes. I decided to wait it out. She slept for a full hour, missing church, while I listened to an audiobook and did my exercise steps, back and forth. Easy duty. When she woke, we went to the Bistro for brunch, where Julie joined us.

Then back to her room. But, having napped, she wasn't tired, of course, so we tried the penalty box, but nobody there, and finally made our way to the dining room, where everybody was eating lunch, and of course she'd eaten. "I don't want to be here," she said, which is a way of saying she didn't want me to leave. But her favorite people were there, so I wheeled her to the table, got her a cup of coffee, and kindly, firmly, said I'd be back in a few days.

A week or so ago, before her anxiety meds were increased, there would have been a scene. Thank god for modern medicine.

*

Just as an update, we have confirmed with the top nurse that the frightening aide will not deal with Mom any more. And we finally understand that the private aide service is not really licensed to provide any more than companion care (a provision that they were very vague about when we started). This means, for example, that the aide can't take her out of her chair and get her in the pool, or on an exercise bike, or anything, really. Isn't even supposed to take her to the bathroom. This accounts for the private aide's, um, limited selection of more or less sedate activities when she's with Mom. So we're going to change the aide service.

I was worried that Mom would be upset, but Mom was amenable when I brought it up. And even in the aide's notes, she reports that Mom has said recently that she "wanted to rest alone." So maybe Mom is sick of her.

Ready for anything