What if one of us wasn't there?

Kites on the lakefront

Sister K has been here all weekend, working virtually 24/7 on settling Mom in to the rehab wing. It's been hard to get Mom the care she needs from the aides, who seem indolent, and to get her to her therapy sessions. It's not clear even if she's supposed to be brought to therapy, or if the therapist is supposed to come and get her.

Time and again, when K shows up, Mom hasn't been tended to in one way or another, or in several ways. She's not been dressed, or not been brought to breakfast, or not been taken to therapy, or she has to go to the bathroom, or she tries to stand when she shouldn't. Today at breakfast, K said, Mom stood and her wheelchair rolled away from her. It stopped at a nearby wall, but there might not always be a wall there.

K asked an aide, Why not put the brake on? "Because that would be a restraint, and we're not allowed to restrain them."

Such crap. It really makes me angry. If you're not going to put the brake on, YOU GOTTA BE THERE WHEN SHE STANDS.

Julie had a friend who said Mom's elderly housing place is great -- until you get to rehab. And that's where we're at right now.

Still, I've seen Mom walk since her surgery -- with a walker, with someone holding her firmly -- and it is cheering. But it doesn't solve any real problem. She'll always be unsteady on her feet; she'll still freeze and jitter in place. She'll need a wheelchair for most movement, and that means she'll need a pusher. Kari's taken her out several times -- to Walgreens and around -- but that won't happen if the aides are all she has. I'll take her out when I can, but I'm not there all the time, and she'll spend a lot of time alone, in bed.

K says she's begun to fret when she's alone; she's full of anxiety. After all the attention at the hospital, the reality of her situation has hit home.

K thinks we should hire private help -- somebody to come in the afternoons, make sure she gets therapy, stays up and about, and provides company. So K and I will look into that.

I think Mom's decline is kind of like global warming. You have a cold day and you think, no, it's not really happening. But it doesn't change the science. Mom has a good day and you think, maybe she's improving. But it doesn't change the science.

The Fellowship of the Strings
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